Wow! It’s been months since I posted! Well, I’m back!

A lot has happened since I last posted, but that’s for another blog. I’ve moved back to Florida, so in light of the big Florida news of the week, here it is! My explanation. My reasoning. My declaration of why I support Marriage Equality. Ok…well, it isn’t just ONE. There are many. How about we just jump right in!

1) Let’s start with the obvious. As a single, never married women of 37, I’ve been asked on many occasions, “The number of single men is already low. Aren’t you worried that if gays are allowed to marry, you’ll never be married?” Um…NO! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! Why would I be worried? Myself and gay men aren’t after the same thing! I date straight men! They date gay men!

2) In my observation of married couples all these years, there is one behavior that’s sure to cause trouble in a marriage; besides not communicating; and that’s basing your marriage on someone else’s! I’m still not clear on how gay marriage cancels straight marriage. If gays (you don’t even KNOW) getting married ruins your straight marriage, then I’ve got news for you! YOUR problem isn’t gay marriage! I’ve not heard of ONE SINGLE NEWS STORY in which a straight couple’s marriage was deemed null and void the SECOND a judge struck down a gay marriage ban in ANY state! NOT ONE!

3) The “religious” debate. Yes, I’m a Christian. No, that doesn’t give me the divine right to hate others . It’s not my place to deem ANYONE unworthy for Heaven, Hell or Earth. Regardless of whether you think homosexuality is right or wrong, I assure you that you’re not leading ANYONE to Christ with such bold HATRED that I see spewing from the mouths of so-called Christians towards the LGBT community!

Jesus’ central theme throughout the New Testament is love. Now, that doesn’t mean be all gushy-mushy with everyone! Christ wasn’t stupid. You’re not going to like some people and vice versa. All He’s saying is be kind and wish others goodwill! (Don’t believe me? Invest in a greek dictionary and do some research on the word “love” in the original language of which the Bible was written.) Back to my point. For example, I have family members that I don’t associate with for one reason or another but I “love” them. Maybe we have nothing in common but DNA. Maybe I just don’t care for their personality. Or maybe the stone cold reality is that they’re just not people I would care to know or hang with outside of already knowing them because we’re related! And that’s perfectly okay! Nowhere in the Bible does it say I’m required to forge relationships with people I don’t want to associate with! I hold neither animosity nor wish them ill will. I wish them ALL the goodwill and blessings in this life, running over—I simply have no need or desire to know about it or be part of it! And that’s perfectly okay!

The same goes for you and the LGBT community! You don’t have to like them or their lifestyle. You don’t have to associate with them. You don’t have to forge friendships. You can oppose them all you want, but you CANNOT hate them and deny their rights! I haven’t seen any memos on Heaven letterhead stationery announcing a hiring bonanza for judgment positions, so let’s all calm down and keep our day jobs!

Allow me to play devil’s advocate. If God truly hates homosexuals, as you believe, what does it matter if gay marriage is legal in THIS life? I mean, we’re supposed to be living right for the next life, right? Soooo, that would mean gay marriage wouldn’t be legal in Heaven… so, if you make it Heaven, you don’t have to associate with them there, either! Well, look-a-there!!! Lucky you!!! But that scenario leads to a bigger question for hateful Christians (oxymoron!). Sooooo…who do you trust more; God or the State? If you trust God more, what does the State matter? And if you trust the State more, your argument is now void and even lamer! (I can literally hear the mouse clicks as people close my blog window! LOL For those still reading, let’s continue.)

4) I have gay friends and happen to know firsthand, that nothing changed when they came out to me. The world didn’t stop spinning. The sun still rose. The moon still set. My boyfriend and I didn’t have to break up because my friends “coming out” made our straight relationship invalid. I wasn’t required to change my sexual preference to remain friends. Nothing happened! In that moment, they were the SAME good people they were before! I was the same good person I was before. I still loved them and they still loved me.

5) Now this is the hard one. Even though, it’s not my fault, it’s embarrassing and personally uncomfortable to admit. But here goes…I dated a gay man for over four years. *deep, shaky exhale* I didn’t know at first. Even though I had my suspicions over the years, I pushed them aside because this poor fella was doing ALL he knew (and didn’t know) to do in order to keep up the façade of a straight man. YEARS later, while watching reruns, I realized that his go-to personality for mimicking was “Martin Payne” from the 90’s sitcom “Martin!” So, you see my confusion? During our relationship (and I use that word loosely) I just thought he was an arrogant chauvinist idiot! (I won’t go into detail of this man’s dramatic public production of, “For real! I’m straight! Believe me!” That is another blog for another da…month!) Thankfully, I realized the truth before any real marriage talk took place. Let’s just say that one day it was all too much for me to deny. To him, I was nothing more than a feminine being to live vicariously through. That visceral jolt of reality came the day I realized he didn’t want to be WITH me; he wanted to BE me! Now, don’t get me wrong! He could NOT have chosen a better prototype, but DAMN! The realization of the truth was like taking a bullet!

To this day, I look back and can’t help but wonder. What if he was allowed to be himself in this world? What if he was allowed to love who he wanted to love? What if he didn’t have to pretend to love a woman for fear of losing his parents’ love, the church’s spiritual fruit and fellowship, the camaraderie and brotherhood of his college fraternity, social respect, in general???

I’d rather support marriage equality and allow people to freely love who they love, than give social lies, manipulation and hypocrisy any power.   I’d rather extend marriage equality to everyone than watch someone waste 4 years of their lives as a significant other’s social research project!

Regardless of how you feel about the issue, it’s not your place to judge. Let God handle that. He’s the only one qualified to do so.

Hey! In the end, I may not be right! But I won’t have to ask forgiveness for NOT “loving one another” as I’m commanded to do, either.